I love
having a website of my own. Longer form for my fragments. My memories in snapshots.
Riding my motorbike home, I daydream about what other things to add or to remove. Thinking about conversations. Thinking about old friendships. Thinking about me, leaving things behind. Thinking about what to write which, I suppose, is just me thinking about what to ponder on.
Relational bonds crashing and burning. I leave when I leave. Things have changed a lot in the last four years. Others remain the same.
Harsh wind. Rain knocking on my window. This time last year, I ate a plate of pancake with someone else. I was happy. This Wednesday night, another plate of pancake, sweet vanilla, sour sorbet. I'm eating this pancake on my own. Stunned, as I realize: I am happier.
What do I feel about these moments? I swallow my mood-stabilizers, dry and familiar. Am I cold, I think to myself, for not feeling sadness over this newfound freedom? Do these people mean so little to me?
Coming home. Finding my little cat giving birth. Just one little kitty. Loud meows.
I smile. Brand new day.